esoteric nonsense 
by: k.k. rose


i’ve always had an issue with sleep. i was awake thinking about it the other night, and i fell asleep. 
here are some notes from the parts of my dreams that i remember:

  • color is absent
  • noteworthy trees
  • temporarily is everything
  • subtlety is nothing
  • nothing is right, but it feels good
  • choking on silence
  • suffocating
  • i can’t cry
  • the feeling is acknowledged
  • firmly lost, but not panicked
  • maybe not lost
  • recognizing bodies
  • water not tears
  • someone is here
  • familiar also unknown
  • touching not felt
  • eyes closed still seeing
  • past time is different 
  • carried above trees
  • beautiful fear
  • foxes flying above head
  • a circus?
  • is this a circus?
  • misunderstood melancholy 

























right answers only: why didn’t gucci mane fuck wit jeezy?

































thirty’s the new twenty, nigga i’m so hot still something something cars and automobiles... - jay-z as heard by a younger me with an auditory processing problem without ever thinking to look up the lyrics. 


i wonder if he was actually happy when he wrote this. i wondered that when i first heard the song, but then realized that wasn’t the point. maybe it was,  though. a small cry from his younger ego trying to wrestle its’ way back into the flesh. i think it’s the hot still part that feels worrisome. who are you trying to convince mr.zedd? you or us? based off of what seems to be a massive awakening on the lalter labum title 4:44 for the girlies, it seems that we belived something as an audience that possibly he didn’t believe hisself. thus, profiting off of ignorance of self in more ways than one. if, in fact, thirty is the new twenty what’s the point of thirty as a concept? everything is just a concept. you, me, jay to the z. all concepts. my theory is that we are conditioned to fear aging in a way that can be detrimental to growth of new synapses.